Bountiful Beautiful Blissful

 

While you're pregnant, I hope you take some time to browse the shelves at Banyen Books. My favorite book of 2005 is "Bountiful, Beautiful, Blissful", by Gurmukh. Don't be scared off by thinking it may be too flakey - it's not, and incorporates many of the words and concepts that I use when working with pregnant and labouring women (I even sang "Row, row, row your boat" to myself during my second labour in 1987). When I read Gurmukh's book I feel as if she and I know each other intimately, and have been using each other's phrases for years. So, have a good read!

"Mi muchacha salvaje" My wild girl

Birth is something you know. Can you imagine arriving at the age of 30, and having your body throwing you an entirely new experience - something without a reference point? It’s just not that nasty.

Birthing is a lot like lovemaking...and Buddhist teachings, for that matter. It involves surrender, letting go, release, acceptance, and total trust. It also involves passion and power, which, for some, can be overwhelming. For others, it can be a process of awakening, change and growth.

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...the way some collect spoons

After the Birth

in her mind
she goes over and over the details,
how, close to the end,
she could no longer stand
the sound of her husband's breathing,
the pain
and the need to keep pushing
long after the baby was out
and the midwife gone

months later,
she still wants her husband
in bed late at night
to tell her once again what happened
but he is tired of broken sleep
and the crying babe
so she turns to other women
and collects birthing stories
the way some collect spoons

I'm home from a birth that spanned the night. Driving through the dark, I saw the husband turn left on yellow, wheels spinning ahead of me. She walked through the shushing doors and slowly lowered her body to the floor. - Are you feeling pressure? She nods. Husband with tears in eyes. Woman low moaning, rocking , swaying, hand tracing circles in the air. Ready to push so soon. In her own room now, windows open to the dark night. Birds singing at 2am. Such power. Then blocked by the power. Moving sitting, kneeling, no use, can't push, squatting, no good, standing, pushing in the chest. I shake her hips and she surrenders to the deep power and slides the baby down, body opening, and out into her arms. Dad streaming tears. Mum laughing laughing laughing... "Sophia!"

So, what’s the best birth book to read?

In 1982, I was obsessed with everything to do with babies. I ducked into every book store for months before I got pregnant. You’d find me sitting on the floor by the Pregnancy and Childbirth section, surrounded by books. These weren’t “Earth Mother” books. I started with the encyclopedic books, looking for the ones authored by doctors with the most letters behind their names... FRCP, etc. You know, the books which scare you half to death with descriptions of all possible things which can go wrong. Then, I went to the university medical bookstore to look at obstetric textbooks. I even studied an obscure Swiss method of breathing for labour, which I photocopied from the main library. This method left me exhausted, out of breath, and very, very confused. It didn’t help when my husband and I went to prenatal classes and pretty much “failed” breathing. And when the nurses at the hospital asked us what our “birth plan” was, we just said “to have it go well”, and then I asked if I could blow-dry my hair before the obstetrician started my induction. Yikes! Over-prepared with book knowledge....under-prepared with inner knowledge.

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We are the Doorways of Life

“‘Breathing for a hollow organ’ works well in labour. Breathe in...breathe out. Allow there to be space after the out breath, a time for nothingness, for the hollow organ to be still. Then wait for the body to take in the next breath. Listen to the sound of the breath as it goes in and out...circular, whole.”

This is the centre of labour. The breath is a reminder that there is continuity in all things. There is safety and surety in the breath which goes on and on throughout the wild storm of labour. Even when the labour reaches the point at which it can be called “white lightning”, the breath is constant as ever. And in the quiet times, between contractions, the breath is soft and open.

“Breathe in strength, breathe away the fear. Listen to the sound of the breath...in and out. Each breath takes you closer to the end of a contraction. Then comes a deep breath, down to the ground, and a long slow sigh...which brings quiet and rest.”

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