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October 3, 2006 Jacquie Munro

I completely missed it. I passed the six hundred and fifty baby mark a while ago, but didn't stop to think about how many babies that REALLY is... Well, they're not all babies now. Many are heading off to high school or university, but close to 70 wee ones are still waiting for their first birthday.

Photos arrive as each baby reaches his or her birthdays. Christmas cards arrive showing long-limbed children I hardly recognise. But I never forget a labour. Those flashbulb moments remain strong in my memory.

Oliver is 22 hours old

October 3, 2006 Jacquie Munro

after a powerful labour
flowed through a powerful woman -

and dinner was just ready,
a little boy in Richmond
was born in the hallway
by the stairs,
greeted by his awestruck parents

and five smiling women.

now, did everyone get their pasta?

The Inner Journey of Pregnancy

September 18, 2006 Jacquie Munro

Photo by Sean Molin — Photo by Sean Molin

During a client’s first pregnancy, I’m continually trying to think of the best way to help her prepare for this life-changing event. Over the months, we certainly talk on the phone about her physical changes. But her emotional changes, her expectations, values and priorities are of even greater importance.

Often, a woman’s inner wisdom is at odds with the societal standard, and my job is to help strengthen her confidence. I have to help her to trust her body’s ability to birth and shut out the voices shouting, “You really should have that test” “You’ve never done this before” “Everyone has a Diaper Genie” “Buy bottles in case breastfeeding doesn’t work.” The competing voices can almost drown out her “I can do this,” and weaken it to become “I’m naïve to think I can do this.”

Picnic at BC Women's

August 25, 2006 Jacquie Munro

I was concerned that she'd think I was crazy... "Let's meet at the hospital, on the hill across from the emergency entrance. Bring a picnic and a blanket." It just seemed the right thing to do on this beautiful day in August. How else could I create a sense of safety, close to the hospital, yet far away? High up on the hill, with lovely green grass all around, trees to lean on, a hill to climb, a place to labour without being watched.

I arrived, and there they were, looking just like a couple on the hill having their lunch. Lovely cheese, crackers, fruit, sparkling juice... A soft blanket and a lap to lean on... Contractions every five minutes. She'd rest on her side for a while, then walk for a while... We'd talk about what to expect...how second babies take their time at first, then fly out. We were in the perfect place, ready to dash inside whenever the labour became stronger.

Into Dad's Hands

August 23, 2006 Jacquie Munro

Dad caught the baby.

The mum writes to me...

"I haven't called as there have been no questions, no stress, no concerns. It has been unbelievable. I was prepared for chaos and tears and frustration and there hasn't been any. Just lots of quiet time getting to know one another, long walks in the neighbourhood in the early evening and tons of smiles. I still have moments where I have to pinch myself when I look at him, he just seems so unbelievably perfect to us.

I want to thank you so much for being there with us during his birth. There were many times throughout the experience when I was so relieved to have you there with us. It was an enormous comfort. You had the words I was looking to hear and I thank you for them. I was very lucky to have had my path cross with yours. I know we will have another opportunity to work with you again in the future and I look forward to it!"

- Cohen's mum

Lambing time...

August 22, 2006 Jacquie Munro

My husband and I are back from a spur-of-the-moment trip to the UK (he's still a romantic about wedding anniversaries after 26 years!), to hike, see the new lambs, stand on cliff edges, and drive the one-track roads in Derbyshire and Yorkshire. I saw twin lambs feeding, bouncing their mother up in the air with their forceful suckling.

We also cheered as our son's band won the Grade 2 band competition at the World Pipe Band Championships.

This was our first trip without the kids in 23 years.

Now that we're home, the phone calls have been coming in thick and fast with updates on all the most recent babies. I'm going through the emails and calls from women due 7 or 8 months from now. I've been fielding questions about pooping, breastfeeding, throwing up, whether grunting is normal, how to introduce solids, parenting 2 year olds, toilet training.

My clients call up years after they have left toddler life behind. I say "I am always yours," and I really am.

The busy Fall baby season approaches. Truly lambing time...

Summer Heat

July 28, 2006 Jacquie Munro

I've just realized that I haven't written about any of the births this month. It must be summer...

Six strong women. So many stories...

Andie's birth - Her mum was described as "enchanting in labour" by the gentle doctor. Memories of flowers, swishing water in the tub, jokes at 9cm... Such a joyful day with all the family waiting...laughter...

Weston's birth - Standing, moving, power...then those shoulders, such a challenge. Mum's grace and strength in the middle of a medical whirlwind... Finally, safety and peace.

After Zoe's Birth

July 4, 2006 Jacquie Munro

during the birth
my hands are the hands of all women
smoothing the lines between past
present
and future

the women are with us

after the birth
we hear the midwife
snap clean sheets
see her climb up
onto the high bed
to smooth the corners

you climb up
babe in arms
and we slip silently through the door
between life and death
to join all the mothers under the moon

One Week Old

June 9, 2006 Jacquie Munro

Despite the tears...
"Just look at her!"

"Tears and Rain"

June 9, 2006 Jacquie Munro

Okay, I’m going to share some secrets about what goes on behind closed doors. Before pregnancy, no one tells women that there are going to be a lot of tears. All they see are the groups of shining skinny women pushing strollers (complete with a sleeping baby) along 4th Avenue, Starbucks cup in hand, laughing. What they don’t see is the anxiety, the tears, the loneliness, and the loss that women can experience as a result of this enormous change in their lives.

I’m glad pregnancy is nine months long. It takes that long to work through the issues that crop up...family boundaries, financial pressures, relationship issues, old wounds, loss of mobility, body image, career choices, birth worries... Women look to their baby’s birth as the end of the process, only to find out that it’s just the beginning. Then all the same issues resurface, in addition to a general sense of loss and loneliness...oh, and a crying baby.

Taking Stock (or living in a bubble)

June 8, 2006 Jacquie Munro

It’s good to take stock of things every once in a while. Change happens so gradually that you often don’t notice until you stand back and observe the differences. Strangers are often the first to notice changes in our children. When did my daughter change from looking like her father, to looking like me? When did my son get taller than his sister who is almost four years older than him? Somehow I missed seeing the changes in the moment.

It’s the same regarding birth practices.

When I started working as a doula, shaves and enemas were still routine. Women were given IVs, and continuous monitoring was deemed necessary. Women still had to write militant-sounding birth plans in order to achieve their goals during birth. Informed consent and family-centred maternity care was a goal, not the norm.

"Stumble into a pocket of grace"

May 17, 2006 Jacquie Munro

A sand dollar lies beside my computer. It will remain there to remind me of this day of grace.

I witnessed a joyful first birth this morning - a triumph over fear. A testament to the wisdom of living in the moment, and taking each breath as it comes. The moment that will remain with me comes after the birth, while she was showering. We debriefed as she scrubbed her legs, just like it was a regular day. “That was a good day,” she said, shining and proud of herself. Her newborn son was in her husband’s arms in the other room. The “boys” voices could be heard beyond the sound of the water. Yes, that was a good day.

Libby's Birth...shorthand...

May 7, 2006 Jacquie Munro

8:30am - “Things have started”...15 minutes apart...this is prelabour.

11:15am - “Go out and have fun,” says Jacquie. Mild contractions.

Afternoon - saw a movie, did Granville Island

6:30pm - True start of labour. 5 minutes apart.

7:40pm - Jacquie arrives. Shower was great. Leaning over table. “It's hot in here!”

9pm - Every 4 minutes now... astride chair...standing...hip shakes... "Ooooo"

9:30pm - New level of intensity - to shower with birth ball “That feels better.”

10pm - "Crash" as shower curtain falls. Out of shower...music on...moving, moving...

Midnight - Another shower. Jac calls hospital. “Crazy busy here,” says nurse.

1am - At hospital. Water breaks at 7 centimetres. “Is that good?” Yes!

2am - Sitting, standing, squatting, warm blanket on shoulders... in shower... “Are you kidding me?” exclaimed after strongest contraction.

4am - Lovely long break...”So relaxed!” ...then pushing...

4:15am - Squatting by bed...then to bathroom...

5:28am - Beautiful baby born...mum and dad facing each other, standing (just like their prenatal photo.) “We’ve been waiting to meet you!”

So many amazing births.

So many lessons learned.

Lilongwe calling...

May 7, 2006 Jacquie Munro

Funny to think how small the world is becoming...yet how deep the divide between the first and third world remains...

I just had a call from a new client. Typical, right?

After her initial email, I had written that perhaps it might be easier for us to chat on the phone. Little did I know that she couldn’t just pick up a phone and call me. No...she had to travel from her “village of mud huts” to the capital of Malawi, and spend the afternoon at the British High Commission waiting for me to wake up on Pacific time, then call from a satellite phone. While she waited, she read this blog. Wild!

From "The Story," by Michael Ondaatje

April 21, 2006 Jacquie Munro

For his first forty days a child
is given dreams of previous lives.
Journeys, winding paths,
a hundred small lessons
and then the past is erased.

Childbirth with Joy

April 20, 2006 Jacquie Munro

Photo by Kala Bernier — Photo by Kala Bernier

“Joyful” was the first word that came to mind when I was asked to describe my son’s birth. At that time, in 1987, I was a self-proclaimed “west-side woman,” a studious and conservative academic...wary of anything east of Granville Street (don’t laugh.) So, for me to start spouting words such as “joy,” “transformation,” “energy,” or “empowerment” was a major departure from what people expected of me - or of what I expected of myself.

I have to thank an outspoken Scottish woman who sat next to me at a mum’s group in 1983 for pushing me towards a different view of birth. She told me about a new midwifery pilot project at Grace Hospital which cared for 4-6 patients per month. “Well, as long as they’re British-trained nurse-midwives,” I said. That’s my upbringing talking. As the only Canadian-born child in a British family, I held anything “British” as the gold standard. So, that’s why I chose midwifery care. No deep-seated granola philosophy...just a blind trust of anything British. Silly of me - but the result was amazing.

Autonomy

March 22, 2006 Jacquie Munro

Well, the newly renovated Holly LDRP (labour delivery recovery and postpartum) rooms have opened at BC Women’s. Fresh, clean, great glass tiles, most with windows...(ok - avoid Room 18 if you want to sleep - the lovely sunshine streaming through the skylights can be a bit startling in labour.) Now there are close to 30 birthing rooms at this hospital.

However, on any given day, there is still the possibility of being diverted to another hospital. There is either an unexpected baby boom in Vancouver, or every labouring woman is trying to get into the BC Women’s birthing suite. Soon there will be a campaign to alert Lower Mainland women to the joys (and quietude) of other hospitals. Admittance to the hospital will be like the old days when you had to prove that you lived within Vancouver city limits. So, if you live in Burnaby or New Westminster, consider the option of local hospitals, which are closer, and much less crowded.

Two perspectives

January 24, 2006 Jacquie Munro

Photo by Ballookey Klugeypop — Photo by Ballookey Klugeypop

After reading my son's first university History essay, I've been thinking about perspective and truth. History is all about viewing the past through a critical lens. There are many truths. We must all make sure that we do not view history through a single homogenizing lens.

This is also true in birth.

When I attend a birth, I take notes. I try to avoid making editorial comments, or passing judgement. I am only an outside viewer. The husband and the medical staff see other truths, they view the birth from their own perspective.

Birth is a challenge of the mind, not the body

January 5, 2006 Jacquie Munro

Think of all the challenges that you have faced in your life - physical, emotional, and intellectual. You have been preparing for this for all your life. You will need to draw on all your life lessons to make it through labour. You don’t need to have experienced extraordinary pain - this isn’t like breaking a leg, or undergoing surgery. All you need is to have lived, faced difficult times, and struggled through to the other side.

Have you ever walked out of your house, and been amazed that everyone is walking about, laughing, doing their shopping, unaware of the challenges that you are facing? You have been facing such a trial that you have stepped out of space and time for a while. You ask yourself, “When will things go back to normal?” This happens in labour.

The Meaning of Pomegranates and Northern Lights

January 4, 2006 Jacquie Munro

Birth imagery is everywhere, from the paradox of the pomegranate in ancient writings to the joyful and whimsical life-giving nature of the Northern Lights found in Native storytelling. Whenever I have been challenged by a birth, or face great joy or loss in our own family, I go to my books. Research is my way of coping with challenges. I haunt creaky-floored second hand bookstores, sit on the floor of the library, or google my way to new understanding.

This month, I started with Tomson Highway's prose, both profound and profane. His imagery of the spirit child who is formed in the Northern Lights and tumbles to earth is magical. There is a bubbling life-force in his words. Then I moved on to reading tales of Persephone and the pomegranate; stories of the potency of life. Seven stars on the tiara created a fetus. Seven seeds of a pomegranate forced the eternal union between Persephone and Hades, creating both life and death in the seasons. I seek connection in these writings...